Sunday, December 10, 2006
Recently I've been thinking about the people who have passed through my life.
You know their backgrounds, their life stories, and the things they've gone through. Maybe they shared with you their fears and sorrow, they called you when they were melancholic, depressed, afraid. Was I really there for them? Were they really there for me?
We always say we want to be there for each other- but what does it mean? You can't always be there for everyone, we all know the truth deep inside. It sounds warm, sweet, let's go through this together, forever. But how?
Nobody can be there for you when you're in darkness, in death. You're alone, and you're taking every step knowing that even if you grabbed at the hands of people you've come to depend upon, you cannot pull them in with you. You want to be bitter and angry with the people who let you down, or maybe you're convinced that you're really thankful to so-and-so for being there for you.
But nobody was actually there with you, walking every step that you took, feeling every nuance of emotion, during every fight behind your mind. Everyone stands at the sidelines and watch you, because they cannot join you.
When you fall, between the stares of people, the sound of your own heartbeat and the voices in your head- who is it that can really stand in you, with you, and for you?
Because people can only do so much, they can't be the faith in your heart.When people say they understand- how much can they really understand? They can never understand what it really is that you're going through, unless they live right under your skin, settled in the most secret part of your heart. Understand the way you think and why you think the way you do. More then understand you, love you, right through to your ugliest awkward silly stupid parts. This is intimacy that even your lover can never share. This is what we all crave...I'm glad I've found who it is who lives there.Ask me, cos i'll be glad to share :)debbie at 9:28 PM