Thursday, August 17, 2006

In a life that's forever intertwined with people, you can never escape; you can never hide from a face.

In a city that's piled high vertically horizontally in every direction with people; you can never retreat from a face.

In every breath, in every morning, with every step, you stumble along your way with people. In every chance you get alone it is someone's voice or memory that goes along with you. You are never alone, you are never who you are without people. They have become a part of who you are. You are born into a world swimming with faces, and will leave seeing the same school of faces that brush past you on the street, full of apathy. We're never alone, how could we ever have thought we were? On every page, every word, every picture, every thought, every noise, in every bustle of the city someone's lives interlinks with ours.

We don't ever really belong to ourselves. Every action we take has an effect on somebody else. We're part of a big picture, a body of humanity that's falling apart as we all struggle for an individuality that doesn't ever really exist. And no matter how similar and how close in proximity we are to each other, we're still finding loneliness in the midst of a crowd. Yes, people every way you look, and yet none of them, none of them are satisfied. Yes, people on the streets, on the public transport, and every one of them knows the silence that wakes them up abruptly in the wee hours of the morning, and the very real fear of life crashing down.

Where is God in all of this? Can it be...? That we need him more then he needs us? Because look at the scores of people living around you. Remember every soul that has passed your life. We're all dissatisfied, all crumble apart. We all need to believe that we're meant for something more- that we were meant to live for so much more. Not money, not education, not people or status, but something more fulfilling, something eternal, something time and tide, or the fallible memories of people can never take away from us.

So you're lost at sea. You're too far out to swim by yourself. You have only have two options. You can choose to believe someone knows about your situation, loves you, and will come and rescue you. Or you can choose to believe that you will drown, and you will die.

Now you're out there swimming.

------------------------------------------

Crash (Score), In the Deep by Bird York

thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
but something happens
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
now you're out there swimming
in the deep.
in the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... let go
till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven
and you throw yourself off.
now you're out there spinning
in the deep.
in the deep.
in the deep.
in the deep.

INTERLUDE

and now you're out there spinning
and now you're out there swimming
in the deep.
in the deep.

IN THE SILENCE
ALL YOUR SECRETS WILL
RAISE THEIR WEARY HEADS
WELL, YOU CAN'T PIN YOURSELF
BACK TOGETHER WITH WHO
YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE

NOW YOU'RE OUT THERE LIVING
IN THE DEEP
IN THE DEEP
IN THE DEEP

in the deep.

NOW YOU'RE OUT THERE SPINNING
NOW YOU'RE OUT THERE SWIMMING
NOW YOU'RE OUT THERE SPINNING
IN THE DEEP
IN THE DEEP
IN THE DEEP
IN THE DEEP
IN THE DEEP

(if you want to be given everything,
give everything up.)

debbie at 4:36 AM