Thursday, May 19, 2005

Let the darkness swallow me whole
Let the light fail to shine
Let the noise deafen me
Let me be blind
Let me feel nothing
Let me know nothing
Let me cease to exist
If only for a moment
Between each breath I take
Before my heart regains control
And I spin back into this world
Let fires rage on
Let rivers dry up
Let me freeze
Before I recognise what is it I'm running away from
Let me forget to breathe
Let me be wrong
Let me drown
Let me fall
I've come to a point
Where it seems okay to be abandoned
Because I've come to accept
And rely on this perversion
This oppresion
This illusion
Disillusioned

sounds depresssed huh? haha. it's easy to be depressed at 3 a.m. when your body is screwed up and you sleep at 9 a.m. in the morning when the sun is already bright in the sky... and when people wake up you are dead.. and sleeping in the daylight with noise and music is more comforting then the unnerving silence of the night... and somehow you have to drag your body to meet your friends who only just told u they're going out... but u tell urself it doesn't matter... after all you've always been missing in action.. its not that you want to go when you can retreat under your covers with your dog.. but suddenly you realise if you don't show your face you might just be forgotten.. and people will actually forget that you're even around.. and even if it seems insecure that's just who you are... and you live in a world which doesn't condone your crazy sleeping routine and where you actually need people.

debbie at 11:51 AM